A million little deaths we die in our lives, yet we live on. The loss of a thing we loved, leaving a house, moving cities, countries, continents, the loss of words, the loss of a dream, the loss of friends. Each little death getting you closer the final chapter.
We are a million people each. A different person with each person you know, for each friend. When you lose a friend that person of you dies -worse is having to say goodbye... like self-smothering a part of you.
Friendship and its kind, have always been a mystery to me, elusive even. I've never been good at it. All my thoughts always imploding inwardly, only letting fallout little complainings till all is consumed.
This blog died a little death and perhaps it will die many times more. As for me after all these years, i finally know, it's not for me!
Chiasma Crossed
Between method and madness
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Amir Khan Formula
1. Take the essential bollywood characters - hero, heroine, villian.
2. Replace heroine aka damse- in-distress with society ka/ke victim - indian villagers, dyslexic kid, engineering students
3.Replace Villian with respective society ka villian - british raj, teachers/parents, principal.
4. Hero to hero hi rahega, played by none other than *drum roll* Amir Khaaan!
Plot:
heroineVictim, villian ke zulmon ka sataya bechara hai. Dan te daaan! Enter HeroAmir. Hero kicks villan butt and saves the day! yaaayyy!!! Kahaani khatam Paisa hajam *burp*
taaliyaan, talliyaan! New issue. new movie, same hero, same story.
Coming up... Ye bechaara kaam ke bojh ka mara.
*ing
some random actor or non-actor as office worker(victim)
some character actor like Boman irani as the painfully horrible, idiosyncratic boss(villian)
Amir khan - as the smart alec know-it-all employee who turns everything around and gets thegirlclient!
Wait a minute, Boman Irani is a Hirani formula. cut cut!!
2. Replace heroine aka damse- in-distress with society ka/ke victim - indian villagers, dyslexic kid, engineering students
3.Replace Villian with respective society ka villian - british raj, teachers/parents, principal.
4. Hero to hero hi rahega, played by none other than *drum roll* Amir Khaaan!
Plot:
taaliyaan, talliyaan! New issue. new movie, same hero, same story.
Coming up... Ye bechaara kaam ke bojh ka mara.
*ing
some random actor or non-actor as office worker(victim)
some character actor like Boman irani as the painfully horrible, idiosyncratic boss(villian)
Amir khan - as the smart alec know-it-all employee who turns everything around and gets the
Wait a minute, Boman Irani is a Hirani formula. cut cut!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
the Decade
2001 sounds like fun, first year of college perhaps where it all begun
2002 not much to review, feels like a welcome followed by an adieu
2003 oh can't wait to be free, end of college and armed with a degree
2004 what a bloody bore, some of us took the CAT that went out the door
2005 gimme a hi-fi, we back-packed for MBA full of hope and drive
2006 the feelings are mixed, we all took jobs that were, perhaps, a quick fix
2007 was the search for heaven
2008 heaven was worth the wait
2009 was maybe not so fine, the sub-prime crisis was so out of line
2010, i pray and hope then, is a really-big-fat-golden-egg-
2002 not much to review, feels like a welcome followed by an adieu
2003 oh can't wait to be free, end of college and armed with a degree
2004 what a bloody bore, some of us took the CAT that went out the door
2005 gimme a hi-fi, we back-packed for MBA full of hope and drive
2006 the feelings are mixed, we all took jobs that were, perhaps, a quick fix
2007 was the search for heaven
2008 heaven was worth the wait
2009 was maybe not so fine, the sub-prime crisis was so out of line
2010, i pray and hope then, is a really-big-fat-golden-egg-
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!! :)
Are you Listening?
I've been listening to the Radio. It has been something of a discovery for me. A result of a conscious choice of not owning a TV and inadvertent unemployment.
It was a sea to begin with, and I was obviously floating desultory. It started with the usual pop music channels - listening to music in loops can be mind numbing. Then there were rap and hip-hop, little bit of country, Mexican music and even Christian evangelists. Then there was a breif but wonderful pause on the classical music channel. At first it was functional, something soothing to fall asleep to, only to be shocked out of lala-land by loud overtures of violin choruses and trombones. Bad idea! But i continued to listen to it on lazy pre-noons, long enough for Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky to become familiar names. The numbers on the radio dial had brcome a little familliar.
The real discovery, however, were the News Channels. Suddenly the immured housewife had a window into the world. The world was talking to her. Six months in this alien country, and i had not just understanding but also an opinion on Healthcare reforms, Energy bills, democratic rights and issues ...heck i even understand the judicial and legislative systems of this country. After having spent a life time in my country, India, the most i know about our civics is that we have a prime minister, a lok sabha and a rajya sabha. What they do, I have no clue.
I know we have issues in India. Every country has more or less similar issues at different points of their history. We have poverty, illiteracy, corruption, caste discrimination and what not. What are we doing about it? What is going on? Where is the voice of the NGOs or even the overnment. Who's keep toll of the Farmer suicides in the cotton belt? Why are farmers taking their lives in the cotton belt?
News for me in India is just flashes of gruesomeness. We watch CNN-IBN online sometimes just to get a feel of what's happening in Desh. It is so cacophonous and disturbing that we have to turn it off or, If it's at dinner time, we usually lose our appetite. The caricature of the news media in movies like A Wednesday and Delhi-6 is apt to the T. Repoters reporting at the top of their lungs and shoving mikes into the hapless bystanders' mouths. Yes, News is about facts and events. But just about any facts? On what basis does the media filter these facts? Even the answer to this question has become hackneyed.
Isn't the News supposed to be about empowerment and not entertainment? Doesn't the phrase go Knowledge is Power?
The argument usually made here is that me or people like me or Indians are just lazy numbskuls and are only interested in item numbers. In the ocean of channels, News channels are competing with sports channels, movies channels, youth channels, reality TV, Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi channels, celebrity gossip channels (there are actually channels dedicated to this!). So they'll play anything to reach out grab the surfers attention, even for 2 minutes (Thats long enought to sneak in a 5 sec commercial eh?). You can't blame the channel they need the advertising monies to run the show, producing a newcast isnt cheap.
Perhaps, it will never be possible to return to the impassioned lady with the gerbera in her hair, politely reading the news of the day at dinner time. Perhaps not on TV atleast, but maybe on the internet and hey, maybe even on the radio!
The Radio - precisely the media for News. It's cheap - no expenses on make-up, sets, video, teleprompters (:D), onsite camera man, looping 2 sec video clips of Mika kissing Rakhi. There is hardly any competition, maybe a couple of music channels and cricket commentry. So there is no need for sensationalism, and be easily run without feeling the pressure to attract too many advertisers, simple underwriting can work. And maybe, just maybe it could also run on a democratic model - a community-style listener run radio station. Start national dialogues. Give a voice to the people, maybe then we'll really know how lazy or numbskulled they are. I listen to NPR and Pacifica Radio pragramming here. One runs on underwriting and the other on member donations. I like both. I find both equally important in their own right, informative, thought provoking and wholistic.
Yes, there are other media. Newspapers work, had worked, but the day TOI became a magazine, something died silently. Plus newspapers are only for the literate. The internet is a source of information. Frankly I find it a daunting ocean of unfiltered blogs (emotional effusion). You need some salaried people to colate all that information and present it in a coherent manner to you. Wouldn't you rather be doing incremental research on the internet more enlighteneted than spending precious liesure time on the basic stuff. Load up on information while your busy fixing dinner or driving to work. You can't beat the power of the radio to show up anywhere - in your car while your stuck in infinite traffic jams, at work, or in the kitchen.
Yes, I want to start a radio news channel in India, set up a radio station. I don't know how it is going to happen exactly. maybe we will start with just a 1 to 1/2 hour spot on an existing channel. This article is my first step towards it.
You can help. If you happen to read this and while I'm cooking my khayali pulao answer these questions for me:
1. Do or would you listen to the Radio and why?
2. What stations do we have in India besides Radio mirchi and Radio City?
3. What do you think, zaroorat hai? (Is a radio news station needed)
It was a sea to begin with, and I was obviously floating desultory. It started with the usual pop music channels - listening to music in loops can be mind numbing. Then there were rap and hip-hop, little bit of country, Mexican music and even Christian evangelists. Then there was a breif but wonderful pause on the classical music channel. At first it was functional, something soothing to fall asleep to, only to be shocked out of lala-land by loud overtures of violin choruses and trombones. Bad idea! But i continued to listen to it on lazy pre-noons, long enough for Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky to become familiar names. The numbers on the radio dial had brcome a little familliar.
The real discovery, however, were the News Channels. Suddenly the immured housewife had a window into the world. The world was talking to her. Six months in this alien country, and i had not just understanding but also an opinion on Healthcare reforms, Energy bills, democratic rights and issues ...heck i even understand the judicial and legislative systems of this country. After having spent a life time in my country, India, the most i know about our civics is that we have a prime minister, a lok sabha and a rajya sabha. What they do, I have no clue.
I know we have issues in India. Every country has more or less similar issues at different points of their history. We have poverty, illiteracy, corruption, caste discrimination and what not. What are we doing about it? What is going on? Where is the voice of the NGOs or even the overnment. Who's keep toll of the Farmer suicides in the cotton belt? Why are farmers taking their lives in the cotton belt?
News for me in India is just flashes of gruesomeness. We watch CNN-IBN online sometimes just to get a feel of what's happening in Desh. It is so cacophonous and disturbing that we have to turn it off or, If it's at dinner time, we usually lose our appetite. The caricature of the news media in movies like A Wednesday and Delhi-6 is apt to the T. Repoters reporting at the top of their lungs and shoving mikes into the hapless bystanders' mouths. Yes, News is about facts and events. But just about any facts? On what basis does the media filter these facts? Even the answer to this question has become hackneyed.
Isn't the News supposed to be about empowerment and not entertainment? Doesn't the phrase go Knowledge is Power?
The argument usually made here is that me or people like me or Indians are just lazy numbskuls and are only interested in item numbers. In the ocean of channels, News channels are competing with sports channels, movies channels, youth channels, reality TV, Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi channels, celebrity gossip channels (there are actually channels dedicated to this!). So they'll play anything to reach out grab the surfers attention, even for 2 minutes (Thats long enought to sneak in a 5 sec commercial eh?). You can't blame the channel they need the advertising monies to run the show, producing a newcast isnt cheap.
Perhaps, it will never be possible to return to the impassioned lady with the gerbera in her hair, politely reading the news of the day at dinner time. Perhaps not on TV atleast, but maybe on the internet and hey, maybe even on the radio!
The Radio - precisely the media for News. It's cheap - no expenses on make-up, sets, video, teleprompters (:D), onsite camera man, looping 2 sec video clips of Mika kissing Rakhi. There is hardly any competition, maybe a couple of music channels and cricket commentry. So there is no need for sensationalism, and be easily run without feeling the pressure to attract too many advertisers, simple underwriting can work. And maybe, just maybe it could also run on a democratic model - a community-style listener run radio station. Start national dialogues. Give a voice to the people, maybe then we'll really know how lazy or numbskulled they are. I listen to NPR and Pacifica Radio pragramming here. One runs on underwriting and the other on member donations. I like both. I find both equally important in their own right, informative, thought provoking and wholistic.
Yes, there are other media. Newspapers work, had worked, but the day TOI became a magazine, something died silently. Plus newspapers are only for the literate. The internet is a source of information. Frankly I find it a daunting ocean of unfiltered blogs (emotional effusion). You need some salaried people to colate all that information and present it in a coherent manner to you. Wouldn't you rather be doing incremental research on the internet more enlighteneted than spending precious liesure time on the basic stuff. Load up on information while your busy fixing dinner or driving to work. You can't beat the power of the radio to show up anywhere - in your car while your stuck in infinite traffic jams, at work, or in the kitchen.
Yes, I want to start a radio news channel in India, set up a radio station. I don't know how it is going to happen exactly. maybe we will start with just a 1 to 1/2 hour spot on an existing channel. This article is my first step towards it.
You can help. If you happen to read this and while I'm cooking my khayali pulao answer these questions for me:
1. Do or would you listen to the Radio and why?
2. What stations do we have in India besides Radio mirchi and Radio City?
3. What do you think, zaroorat hai? (Is a radio news station needed)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
CALM
can you stand alone
and speak, speak your mind out loud
are you hiding your heart
in the noise of the thumping radio
watching whatever you can
to keep it down
the noise the noise
the noise in your heart will
drown
you
if you listen to it
it is up to your ears in water
your ears your ears
and speak, speak your mind out loud
are you hiding your heart
in the noise of the thumping radio
watching whatever you can
to keep it down
the noise the noise
the noise in your heart will
drown
you
if you listen to it
it is up to your ears in water
your ears your ears
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Nightmare
They’re crawling all over
Wriggling from the carpet over the floor
Sliding off door knobs
Hanging down shelves
Curled up in a mound on the corner of the bed
Sleeping crumpled in the dryer
Rolled by the kitchen sink
You pick and pick and pick them all day
Wake up and eeks they’re there again
Covering your body and dirty again
Clothes! My civilian nightmare
Wriggling from the carpet over the floor
Sliding off door knobs
Hanging down shelves
Curled up in a mound on the corner of the bed
Sleeping crumpled in the dryer
Rolled by the kitchen sink
You pick and pick and pick them all day
Wake up and eeks they’re there again
Covering your body and dirty again
Clothes! My civilian nightmare
Friday, January 30, 2009
You can see now
Two: You educate me! What would I do without you?
One: You would continue to dwell in the self-conceited delusion that is your life.
Two: I love it! :)
One: Ignorance is bliss, ain’ it?
Two: I prefer to call it ‘living in my own reality’
One: Yet again, words play sand quite eloquent
Two: And you sure play well.
Once again, the weakness of the word sets you on a round robin flight. The innate ability to misrepresent and then be misinterpreted deterring even communication, itself. That’s it! Words were not invented for communication, rather to satisfy the man’s most primal urge, no not sex, Definition, the constant nagging need to assign meaning. What does this mean? what does day mean? what is light? What is the meaning of life? what do you mean? You are mean, I mean etc, etc.
Humour me this – every word is but a noun, like in the worlds of Tlön, Uqbar and Orbis Tertius. Verbs are names for actions, adjectives are names for qualities, and prepositions are names for relative positions and so on and so forth. Nouns are strung together in a sequence to create the stories which we call our lives. For, it is these stories we spin that give our lives any meaning.
Each noun assigned a tacit meaning, attempted to capture with more nouns in dictionaries. So dictionaries dictate what a word means and dictionaries may beg to differ. And then we debate if Pluto a planet or a rock?
And I can wax eloquent all day on the subject, adding to the noise that blogs are and still not get across, but what can express the worthlessness of words better than a Silent Movie... nay, the Masterpiece of the master of silent cinema. Mostly you have to be blind or wasted to see through the outer definition of the tramp, because now his story doesn’t pre-empt his existence.
City Lights, Go See it!
One: You would continue to dwell in the self-conceited delusion that is your life.
Two: I love it! :)
One: Ignorance is bliss, ain’ it?
Two: I prefer to call it ‘living in my own reality’
One: Yet again, words play sand quite eloquent
Two: And you sure play well.
Once again, the weakness of the word sets you on a round robin flight. The innate ability to misrepresent and then be misinterpreted deterring even communication, itself. That’s it! Words were not invented for communication, rather to satisfy the man’s most primal urge, no not sex, Definition, the constant nagging need to assign meaning. What does this mean? what does day mean? what is light? What is the meaning of life? what do you mean? You are mean, I mean etc, etc.
Humour me this – every word is but a noun, like in the worlds of Tlön, Uqbar and Orbis Tertius. Verbs are names for actions, adjectives are names for qualities, and prepositions are names for relative positions and so on and so forth. Nouns are strung together in a sequence to create the stories which we call our lives. For, it is these stories we spin that give our lives any meaning.
Each noun assigned a tacit meaning, attempted to capture with more nouns in dictionaries. So dictionaries dictate what a word means and dictionaries may beg to differ. And then we debate if Pluto a planet or a rock?
And I can wax eloquent all day on the subject, adding to the noise that blogs are and still not get across, but what can express the worthlessness of words better than a Silent Movie... nay, the Masterpiece of the master of silent cinema. Mostly you have to be blind or wasted to see through the outer definition of the tramp, because now his story doesn’t pre-empt his existence.
City Lights, Go See it!
Friday, January 23, 2009
What's Cooking
Guy : Do you know cooking?
Girl : *raises eyebrows, imitating accent* Do you know hunting?
Glad the man hunt is over and the couple is cooking happily every after. While woman has patented recipes like Smoked Gobhi, geela vegetable do pyaza, tomato toast with left overs and masala fried eggs. Man has mastered the art of the Sambar and other entrees in consulting capacity. Woman rolls the pin while man roasts the roti.
Friend: But isn’t the Man only responsible to bring home the Bacon?
Woman: No, we are vegetarian.
Man is happy after learning in Hawaii on their honeymoon, that in Polynesian cultures the men do the hunting, cooking and serving; end-to-end supply chain, while women manage other industries like handicrafts and textiles.
Man: Hey atleast, she helps me out *shrugs shoulders*
Girl : *raises eyebrows, imitating accent* Do you know hunting?
Glad the man hunt is over and the couple is cooking happily every after. While woman has patented recipes like Smoked Gobhi, geela vegetable do pyaza, tomato toast with left overs and masala fried eggs. Man has mastered the art of the Sambar and other entrees in consulting capacity. Woman rolls the pin while man roasts the roti.
Friend: But isn’t the Man only responsible to bring home the Bacon?
Woman: No, we are vegetarian.
Man is happy after learning in Hawaii on their honeymoon, that in Polynesian cultures the men do the hunting, cooking and serving; end-to-end supply chain, while women manage other industries like handicrafts and textiles.
Man: Hey atleast, she helps me out *shrugs shoulders*
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