Is it possible?

On this overnight train to Hyderabad I had found some very pleasant company. A father son duo and do yaar and ofcourse me. The father-son were especially amicable. The father was settled in Chicago. the son lived in Australia. The son’s sister was studying in Europe some where and I think maybe the mother was in India. They were going home; to little England, Hyderabad, to celebrate Christmas with old friends. The two friends were just retuning from their vacation in the Middle East via Sri Lanka. Did you know you can’t exchange Indian currency in Sri Lanka!!! Well they couldn’t and they had this adventure story about how they luckily had some Dirham coins clinking in their pockets; enough to afford them some food while they waited for their flight to Chennai. I have this vague memory of them talking about going snorkelling in Sri Lanka but now it doesn’t make logical sense and I can’t recall the flow of events in their story anymore. I was just going home for the yearend holidays. We were all really Hyderabadis at the end of the day.

So I was having this pleasant conversation with this uncle from Chicago. I was reading Sherlock Holmes at that time. So the conversation picked up from there he recommended another detective series, ofcourse which I can’t recall the name of, and we progressed to us discussing our fascination for old Hindi songs and his love for Lata Mangeshkar’s voice. The son, I found out, was a professionally trained bar tender who didn’t drink. He refused when the boys offered him a share from their bottle which they were secretly glugging on the third tier. The two feiends were of the “milbaithein teen yaar” varienty. We all ordered the meals served on the train and had dinner together. The son gobbled the food down while the father and I slowly but meticulously chewed and swallowed each piece of food in the tray. Uncle said I was good company for dinner and even invited home for Christmas or was it the son who said that… anyway, as we were basking I this warm reverie of bonhomie, a sudden thud against the the bogie shell broke our torpor. There was another thud then a klud and a kud and finally a kinlk. I looked at uncle ,startled and slightly worried, for an answer. He explained in a slightly regretful tone, “ Many animals get hit by the train when the tracks pass though wilderness.” There was a feeling of sickness in the air and on my face; which slowly sunk to my heart. How is that possible? When animals can sense the tiny pre-seismic vibrations that humans are immune to then surely they can feel a train coming! If not that then surely the headlights should startled them off! You think it was harakiri? Would animals do that?

Obituary

Your Angel has fallen, my love
No more in your skies to fly
No more to live, No more to die

Flew before me as i went up the flight
From the eighth window of my tower
Held her wings i saw her leap
I followed but for my coward feet

She lay there quite all night unmoving
As i cried myself to sleep
And if morning were to come
You would see,
her blood,
Was the colour of love

Pencils

I don't like mechanical pencils.
I like sharpening my wood-lead pencils. I like waiting for them to go blunt so i can sharpen them again.

I'm a drop of coffee

I’m a drop of coffee fallen from the mug of abundance, with the alacrity and resolve of an arrow left a bow, on to a piece of paper, plopped patiently, breaking down resistance, seeping into each fibre slowly, persistently, permeating in every direction palpable, strained pale until every grain of the paper is imbibed in my essence eternally, submissive and changed.

If i love you, i'll leave you
My insecurities can't be your chains
Your freedom i gift to you
if ilove you, i'll leave you

Hope on earth you find your heaven
in the year 2007

...continued

Is your birthday the time for a review meeting with yourself? Was i supposed to prepare a status report or a progress report and identify the slippages and risks in my life's plan and come up with mitigation and fire fighting strategies?

But what if i don't have a plan! What if i dont have a life?

It was my birthday yesterday...and i'm not feeling contemplative.

Always end up running in circles
With bruises of bright greens and purples
Sooner or later must put up a fight
unchain and let it take flight
these are my thoughts, superfluous bubbles

Please keep your distance

My friend says long distance relationships just can't work out because what u can say in a hug you can't ever express in a million words. I've come to learn quite the contrary.
Long distance realtionships are stonger precisely becuase you don't have the convenience of a hug. If somebody's pissed off, if something is wrong the only way to resolve a misunderstanding is by expressing yourself in words. Words that otherwise would have been supressed. We use and over use the hug and hell even the kiss. He's screaming at you just hug him and he'll melt, but all that discussion you would've had otherwise if you'd continued gets lost. Hence the misunderstanding never gets cleared. The questions never get asked. The questions never get answered. End of communication. Without realising you are bottling up things. Oneday a little jerk will make you burst like a cola bottle shaken too hard. End of relationship.
Distances forces you to express. Distance teaches you to be loud 'n' clear. So keep the distance. Am i clear?

Googling Truths

Me: i found an interesting quote from a movie.
Now i want to watch the movie.

TP: which is that?

Me: “There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.”

TP: boy !

Me: what a dialogue !

TP: sure it is
Revolver it is ?

Me: u googles it !

TP: :D
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365686/quotes

Me: shame

TP: what ..
chalta hai

Me: obviously that link turned up because i copied it from there
Sometimes u get so addicted to a tool, u use it even when u don’t need it - like using logs to calculate 100/25 and getting 3.986.

Why is it easier to wear the mask of a happy go lucky fool?
Because it protects you from the pain of being a sincere idiot
Then what is the pain one still suffers?
The pain of suffocation

Lone reed/wolf/ranger etc etc

The first day of my life alone was not as horrible or as scary as I anticipated it to be. A spacious two bedroom apartment and no one to share it with. In a colony of respectable people and nobody to talk to.
Easy with the sympathy already. It isn’t as bad as I’m making it sound. Living alone has its own perks. Here are a few i discovered.
You can play your favourite music, turn up the volume to full blast or put on your headphone (if u have finiky neighbours) and pretend to be Aerosmith without having to worry about people thinking you’re crazy ..even though that’s probably what you're screaming.
I’m not such a big fan of walking around naked in my living room even though Alanis Morisette recommends it so fervently.
Read a book all day with absolutely no distractions, in whatever position u’re comfortable in, at whatever hour of the day, with whatever title on the cover.
Don’t make your bed for two days and no one will complain. Ok I get disgusted by the third day.
Cook exactly what you want to eat. Eat only if you want to. The fan runs at exactly the speed you like it. No compromising. No sharing. No having to be considerate. No worrying abt looking insensitive.
And finally you can buy a signboard that says “Beware of Dogs” and put it up outside your door
Ah! This is the life.

PS: This article was started on the 15th of July and finished on the 18th at 1:33 AM

And it falleth from heaven

Mumbai rains have a mind like mine – fickle. A fat blob of distilled water, reluctantly falling from the too heavy to float clouds in the heavens up above, comes and hits your head with a soft vengeance, a kind of vengeance that is almost sorrow. The sorrow of being torn apart from your element, pulled away from your paradise. That cloud is where the party is at. All the high flying and happening water droplets meet up here to rock to the thundering musing and electrifying lighting effects. Some water drops in their party high and moment of drunken indiscretion forget when to put that glass of intoxicant down. Next thin’ they know is they are piss-drunk, no longer in control of themselves. No longer aerodynamic a fat blob of water falls unwillingly from the happening heavens up above, forced apart from dear like minded friends, onto your naked skin with a feeling of deep deep regret.

The above article is dated Tuesday, June 27, 2006 7:46:24 PM

This is the most abstract piece of writing i've ever written. It was written in a car in a traffic jam in mumbai. It was ofcourse inspired by the fact that the rains couldnt decide whether to fall or not, therefore making my indecision about opening the umberalla constant. Besides if you really wanna avoid getting wet in Mumbai, get an umbrella that doubles up as a boat. Falling from the sky is a kind of Sazaa-e-Kaalapani, before you know it they've built a civilization of outcasts also known as floods.

Knock yourselves out!

So it was the ultimate congregation of phonies, fresh off some 'premier' B-schools. ‘The Cream of India’ lathargically sitting around the buffet table after really heavy supper chewing the fat. One guy from an 'extra premier B-school' suddenly interrupts and asks, “Do any of you read?”. I was like, ”Duh yeah of course we read. We didn’t get of graduating just like that you know.”, in my head. Another one with a particularly hoarce voice shot off, “yeah I love reading. I’m currently reading the biography of Indira Gandhi”. He to his dismay was unable to recall the name of the book. Damn he started a trend! Everyone started to take turns announcing what they were reading. Was I reading anything then? Damn I was. I’m still going to say I’m not reading anything, I don’t read, I decided. “God of small things”, I blurted when my turn came. Some spine I have. It wasn’t like I was held at gunpoint or anything. “But I don’t really like it”, I muttered to cover up.”I really liked Catch 22 though” falling again in the same damn pit again!
“Oh Catch 22! That’s a really cool book”
“Yeah I thought it was hilarious”
“Oh I’ve always wanted to read it but I was daunted by the size.”
“Yeah it’s a tough read alright. Took me ‘bout six damn months to get done with it”
“but it’s a great book”
“But Catcher in the Rye is really an awesome book. J.D. Salinger is really good.”
Eh! That statement was so off the boat it nearly killed me! What’s the catch? Phony ass bastard!

---------------------

Shooting the bull with some guys from work at tea break:
Him: Hey I’ve finished reading that book you anted. Had finished it long back just forgot to let you know.
Me: Hmm no issues. I’m keeping myself quite busy. had bought some books so read that over the weekend.
Him: What book?
Me: Err..Catcher in the Rye *reluctantly*
Him: *face lights up* that’s a really good book.
Me: I know, I read it.
Him: Have you read Catch 22?
Me: *fell off the chair*

----------------------

Here’s a fresh one:

What’s the opposite of Thank you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fuck you

Knock yourselves out !!!

Disclaimer: Still in the Catcher in the Rye sort of mood. Figured I’d use the language used in the book just for the effect. To bring out the irony, you know. Havn’t done a good job of it, in keeping with the style. No offence to anybody or anything like that.

Starry Night

Picture regretfully removed due to technical difficulties.

Above you can see today's Astronomy Picture of the Day (click on the picture for a larger version), showing a nice picture of a night sky. If you go with the mouse over it, it draws for you the corresponding constellations (for that, you have to do it in their website, not here, because I couldn't get the nice effect)! Worth seeing and trying later with the real sky :-) .

Source

For Purnima and Rashi :)

At work after 7:30PM

The air conditioner whirring
Clickety-clicks of tactile feedback keyboard
Maybe a flip of a page or pages somewhere
Jangling of a bunch of keys
Moans of adjustable seats
Ah the chair on wheels rolls
The murmur must be them office trolls.

You let go so easily
was that all it was meant to be?
On a lonely summer's night, miss me
This is my gift to you
A curse for free.

Shattered

I'm the kind who cribs a lot. I'll whine and wail. I've actually had people getting frustrated with me after a ten minute conversation."Stop complaining!", they'd yell. I had promised myself and you that I would not let that trait spill in here. Something has happened today and i want to cry here. Because there is no one i can cry to, more so because i'm not supposed to.

Being Undead

A new life is about to begin
A new morning for blue birds to sing
The orange glow at the horizon makes sweet promises
of clear blue skies, of yellow lillies and purple primroses

But unfinished business in this life
like chaines around my ankles anchors me as i spread my wings to take flight
So my soul wanders like the ghost of me
Let me go, set me free.

This old coil i want to shed
That path no longer i want to tread
I have found the place where i i want to be
Let me go, set me free

Not that this life was bad
Scars are like tattoos, works of art
Let them in silence tell my story
Now let me go, set me free!